John Carpenter's Cigarette Burns: If Movies Could Kill

I don't mean the title of this post to insinuate that this movie will kill you. It's not that terrible. It's not the best of John Carpenter's rather extensive work, but that may be mostly because this was done for the Showtime series Masters of Horror, and as such isn't up to normal standards. It is, however, a fairly original concept done in a mildly interesting way, so it isn't a total loss.

I realize now that I'll have quite a number of John Carpenter movies here on the ol' blog soon. I'm also waiting to review Big Trouble in Little China and The Thing, and I could always review Halloween and They Live! purely from memory. I do enjoy John Carpenter's films, and this was no exception. I did enjoy it, but given the format, it wasn't quite up to being great, and it was too short, besides.

The film stars Norman Reedus (Boondock Saints) as a Kirby Sweetman, a theater owner and pretty haunted dude, trying to pay back his father-in-law, Walter. To help his financial issues, he takes a film-detective job from Mr. Bellinger, played by Udo Kier (Blade, Halloween). Kirby is to find a long-lost film called La Fin Absolue du Monde (The Absolute End of the World), which is said to have driven its previous audiences to violence and death. Upon retrieving the film, he ends up with more than he bargains for, seeing reel-change markers (referred to as "cigarette burns" from its one mention in Fight Club, though they aren't actually known as such in the industry) in his waking life, before violent and strange hallucinations. He may slip deep into madness just from pursuing the film. Who knows what might happen if he actually watches it?

Ok, I was trying for a more concise with an actual summary of the film before really getting into a rant about it. Did it work? Meh, probably not, but I figured I'd try it out.

The main thing that disappointed me about this "movie" is that even though it has a some-star cast and is directed by a respected horror director, it's still not much more than a made for TV movie. It's too short, and I think there are some restrictions on content to a certain extent. Moreover, I was always aware on some level that this was not a theatrical film, and was originally on television. I like the general idea of the Masters of Horror, putting a bunch of horror directors together on one unified project, trying to make good horror films that are accessible to anyone paying for Showtime. I think the After Dark Horrorfest took that idea and made it into something worthwhile, an actual annual film festival specifically for horror, with excellent branding and a good marketing campaign.

I really liked the idea that a film is/can be more than just a film. This idea was touched on in the novel Three Days to Never by Tim Powers, as well, though not with the same horror twist. Basically, every time we see a movie, we put a lot of trust into it. We'll go to a theater, sit in the dark (surrounded by strangers), giving our attention totally to the screen, hoping the director doesn't try to screw us over. This is doubly true when we see a horror film; we trust that they won't show us anything that we can't handle. The film that Kirby is commissioned to find was created specifically to cause as much chaos as possible with the audience. We find that there's something subliminal in the film, something carefully edited, coupled with the immense power the film itself held. It's suggested that if the camera films something terrible, something unprecedented and terrible, it becomes powerful. In this case, the torture and forced transubstantiation of a real, live angel is captured on film amongst other truly horrific images and edits, which results in a film that drives anyone who watches it completely insane and violent. If anyone actively pursues the film (like Kirby), they begin to feel its effects, getting visions accompanied by the signature cigarette burns.

It's pretty short, as I said before, but Norman Reedus is pretty good in it, and it kind of reminds me of that Johnny Depp movie, The Ninth Gate. The plots are sort of similar (an expert is commissioned to find an evil version of something, with results that backfire, involve angels, evil, etc.), but unfortunately, The Ninth Gate is just a better movie. Cigarette Burns isn't terrible, by any means, though.

It's worth a watch if you're really a huge fan of John Carpenter. It has some interesting ideas in it, but I feel that they could have been developed more (the majority of the movie is about finding the film, and some creepiness and hallucinations), and maybe I'm just a little weird, but I wanted to see him screen the cursed movie for an entire audience and watch them all go crazy. I do like the idea and its inherent question: Filmmakers have much power over the imaginations of their audience. What if a director made a movie that would harm its audience on purpose?

I give it two accursed demon-films out of five, or two creepy wingless angels out of five.

Escape From New York and Into My Heart

I feel that I should put this out there right away: I love this movie. It's one of many John Carpenter/Kurt Russell collaborations, and arguably one of the best-known of their films. This is also the movie that helped launch Kurt Russell's new acting career, starring previously in mostly Disney movies and more generally family-friendly films. I'm often amazed that more people are unaware of his status as a child star, and most contemporary audiences know him best for roles like this one. Plus, his character has an eyepatch! It honestly doesn't get much better than that.

For those of you that are unaware, the plot of Escape From New York is relatively simple: It's the fantastical dystopian future of 1997, and crime has reached such unprecedented heights that the entire island of Manhattan (which apparently means all of New York City, as well) has been turned into a prison. Air Force One crashes into the city due to a random revolutionary, and the President is then kidnapped by the criminal population. As luck would have it, a well-decorated military man and criminal arrives, and is then forced to rescue the president. This man is Snake Plissken, and he is a bad-ass.

See? Told you.

This film is of particular interest to me in that it features Isaac Hayes, Harry Dean Stanton, Adrienne Barbeau, and Ernest Borgnine as "Cabbie," as well as Donald Pleasance as the President. The police force that runs the prison (from outside the walls) offers Snake a full pardon in exchange for his help. To make sure that he retrieves the President in a timely manner, he injects tiny explosives into his neck, which would explode just enough to sever his arteries and kill him. So what's a guy to do, huh? Guess there's no choice but to take a glider into the city, fight some crazy post-apocalyptic Mad-Max-like criminals, check out Adrienne Barbeau, beat up Isaac Hayes, and save the day.

One thing I don't like about this movie is that it's very dark. It may have been partly my settings on the TV, but still; it's often quite difficult to see what's going on. I understand that it's the future, and all dystopian, and depressing, blah blah blah, but still. A little ambient lighting never hurt anybody. Another thing that always confused me was that everyone that Snake encounters in this dumb place seems to know who he is. Ernest Borgnine's cheerful molotov-tossing Cabbie seems to love Snake, and is super-happy to be hanging out with him. Harry Dean Stanton (a.k.a. Brain) is scared of Snake, but that's mostly because he (Brain) betrayed Snake and their friend "Fresno Bob" on an earlier job. The Duke hates him just because he's trying to save the President, and The Duke is used to being "A number one," and Snake basically beats him hands-down at being a badass.

Shortly before his untimely death, I saw parts of Escape From New York on television, and was surprised to see Isaac Hayes in the role of the villain. I'm so used to him as a comedic actor on South Park, as well as his music career and his minor role as "Asneeze" in Mel Brooks's Robin Hood: Men In Tights. I don't feel that they use Isaac enough in this movie, and they definitely don't let him talk enough. He doesn't get a very dignified death (in the film), either, which is a shame.

In a scene that I particularly enjoyed, a captured Snake is forced to fight for the amusement of The Duke and his army of criminal crazies. We also get to see his namesake tattoo, a particular dark and muddy-looking cobra, which is probably one of the worst movie tattoos I've ever seen. It looks like someone drew a cobra on his stomach with magic marker, but he'd never seen a cobra before. Luckily, there was someone that had seen a picture once, and they told the artist what to draw. However, the pure amateur shoddiness of his terrible tattoo is immediately forgotten when I see who he has to fight:

Yes, that's right. He has to fight Zangief from Street Fighter! In actuality, this is a character named "Slag," and he's played by the legendary Ox Baker. Not surprisingly, Snake is able to not only defeat this behemoth of craziness and beard, but he is also able to retrieve his timer-bracelet (approximately the size of a bedside alarm clock), and activate a tracer bracelet, both of which had been stolen previously, but were conveniently on some nearby wrists after the fight. Meanwhile Brain and Maggie (Barbeau) have rescued the President, and try to steal Snake's glider. Snake shows up in time to see the bad guys drop it off the top of the World Trade Center, so our anti-hero has no choice but to navigate a bridge lined with mines and explosives. Also, The Duke shows up, Cabbie randomly has the coveted audiotape that's almost as important as the President's life (though nobody's really sure how he gets it), and then everyone but Snake and the President die.

Kurt Russell makes a pretty good anti-hero, looking suitably grizzled and manly in his tank-top and camouflage leggings, shooting guys and throwing knives in their foreheads, all to the absolutely "brilliant" musical score provided by Mr. John Carpenter himself. There are explosions, people getting shot, beaten up, etc. There are no big revelations, no real secrets about mankind's future revealed, no deeper meaning. It's pure entertainment, simple and joyous. Relax and let it wash over you for a couple of hours, and you'll enjoy it. Four Ernest Borgnines out of five, or four fake-Zangiefs out of five.