The Virgin Suicides: Surburban Life Is Just Awful

I watched this one awhile ago, but have been too busy, what with my day job and real life, etc., to actually write about it. So now, in the ultimate snackrifice, I will write about this film today, rather than watching all of the scintillating new television shows available to me tonight. Wait, there's nothing good on Tuesdays, and the Lady is busy, so... here you go. I mean, um. I really want to?

Back in the early 90s (1993 to be obsessive), a young, hip upstart of a novelist debuted to the world with The Virgin Suicides. In 1999, the young, hip offspring of a well-respected and prolific Hollywood film director figured it would be a pretty nifty film to start off with. That crazy director was Sofia Coppola. Yes, the very same cousin of Nicolas Cage and Jason Schwartzman! It is truly amazing. Well, okay, the movie is decently well-directed, and word on the street is that she adapted the film into a passable screenplay. The film stars James Woods, Kathleen Turner, Kirsten Dunst, Josh Hartnett, and a bunch of other people whose names I can't remember. It's okay, thought. The characters are important in what they represent, and the actions that they take. Okay, fine, since you're all such sticklers, the film also stars A.J. Cook, Hanna R. Hall, Leslie Hayman, Chelse Swain, Danny DeVito in a memorable and extremely tiny role, a really young Hayden Christensen, Giovanni Ribisi as the narrator, Anthony DeSimone, Lee Kagan, Robert Schwartzman, Noah Shebib, and Jonathan Tucker. Whew. See? That's why I didn't want to get into it.

Set in early-1970s Grosse Pointe Michigan, the film is of particular resonance to me, because I've lived in Michigan for the last ten years or so. The 70s was an important time for the country in general, and the Detroit suburbs was a pretty interesting place at the time. The plot focuses on the Lisbon family, Ronald and Sara, and their five mysterious and deeply disturbed daughters. Kirsten Dunst is sort of the main daughter, Lux, and her sisters are Mary, Cecilia, Therese, and Bonnie. The story opens with the attempted suicide of Cecilia, the youngest girl. This only proves to increase the allure, mysterious draw, and legend of the girls to the various boys of the school and the neighborhood. It's through their eyes and thoughts (and the narration of one of them, grown up), that we experience the events. The Lisbon parents are slightly awkward and extremely overbearing, which causes some extreme lashing out by the girls.

Inexplicably, all of the girls end up committing suicide (hence the title). Cecilia is the first, succeeding after her failed first attempt, and by the end of the film, the other girls follow after, in decidedly suburban ways. Lux is the second-to-youngest, but by far the most rebellious, sexual, ambitious, and probably the craziest. As shown below, the neighborhood boys become obsessed with the girls, due to their unnatural beauty, the mystery inherent in their parents authoritarian rules and restrictions, and their eventual deaths. The story also features short scenes like interviews, where at least one of the boys, grown up, is still searching for answers, and still discussing them.

I'd like to read the book, and I've gotten into the habit of watching films first when I can, and then reading the book. I may have mentioned this before, but I figure, why be disappointed in the movie because it's not as good as the book? It's literally always the case. I might as well enjoy the film with no expectations, and then enjoy the book even more when it's so much better than the film. It's the most win-win situation ever, and I'll fight for that opinion! Yeah, that's what I thought, tough guy. Don't hit me!

James Woods and Kathleen Turner give stellar performances as the continually flustered and way-out-of-their leagues parents of five precocious and intense young daughters. Kirsten Dunst is pretty impressive as well, in an odd sort of way, even though I'm not generally a big fan of hers. Josh Hartnett is pretty hilarious in an extremely terrible wig, and a tiny little young Hayden Christensen cracks me up. Giovanni Ribisi is probably the second-best male in the film, next to the always engaging James Woods. Most of the girls, ironically, were relatively forgettable, in my opinion as a viewer.

I was mostly trying to figure out what was really so terrible about their lives, and why they felt their only real out was suicide. They were basically kept prisoner to a certain extent for a good deal of the film, but the parents were understandably distressed by their daughter's suicide, and probably didn't have good coping mechanisms back in the 1970s. Lux's behavior is far more extreme than I would assume rational, which I guess is the prerogative of a 14 year old girl. The boys' shared obsession with them is somewhat understandable, but only up until their collective deaths. Five sisters killing themselves almost simultaneously is worth a little closer look, but up until then? Yeah, sure, they were pretty, but come on. Pretty people are all over the place! I guess young teenage boys are more susceptible to that sort of thing. Also, they did see Lux having random sex on her roof with random people, which I guess would be pretty memorable.

In general, I found the film to be particularly disturbing, adequately directed, written well (though that's probably due to the source material more than anything else), and acted with a special sort of suburban subtlety that only increases the disturbing aspects of the story. I give it four Danny DeVito cameos out of five, or four utterly suburban teenage girl suicides out of five (they included hanging, asphyxiation by car exhaust in a garage, head in the oven, and pills). Fun for the whole family?

State of Play: Let's Co-Opt the British Some More

Back in 2003, BBC One aired a television serial about journalism, political scandal, intrigue, murder, and conspiracy. So six years later, America decided "Hey! That was pretty good. But y'know what will make it even better? Let's condense it by one-third, stick Russell Crowe in it, make it set in Washington, and also put Ben Affleck in it." And you know what? They could have been wronger, but they were pretty wrong.

That's not to say that the film wasn't entertaining, because it was. Some interesting stuff happened, and it was trying very very hard to be suspenseful. It doesn't have a completely mind-blowing twist, or even a series of twists, but it's obvious that they put a lot of effort into being as taut as they could manage. It does have a surprisingly stellar cast, though (except for Ben Affleck). It stars Russell Crowe in the main role of reporter Cal McAffrey, Helen Mirren as his editor Cameron Lynne, li'l Benny Affleck as Congressman Stephen Collins, Rachel McAdams plays Della Frye, a modern media reporter (i.e. blogger) that gets partnered up with Cal, Jason Bateman as Dominic Foy, a strange li'l informer, Robin Wright Penn as Congressman Collins's wife Anne, and Jeff Daniels as Rep. George Fergus. It was directed by Kevin Macdonald, and he previously directed the acclaimed The Last King of Scotland. You'd think that there would be something more redeeming about this film with a cast like that, right? Well, it's only decent, but not awful.

General plot time! A redheaded lady apparently commits suicide by jumping in front of a metro train. Turns out, she was having an affair with Congressman Collins. She also was the lead researcher for some crazy hearings that Collins was heading, something about private militias, or mercenaries, or something. A very prominent and rogueish reporter Cal McAffrey gets word of the scandal, because A) he works for a friggin' newspaper, and B) he was roommates in college with Collins (apparently, even though Russell Crowe is almost ten years older than Affleck). So, as per usual movie-style, McAffrey decides that he's the world's coolest detective, and tracks down the entire case and breaks it wide open like a cheap piñata. Also, Helen Mirren is a pretty bad-ass tough as nails Editor, and Jason Bateman is this strange, odd little bisexual club owner or something, with some vague connection to the victim. Jeff Daniels is a pretty ruthless and surprisingly evil Representative. There's a lot going on here, and I think that some threads get lost along the way, but overall, it remains entertaining throughout.

One of the biggest issues that occurs with these kinds of films involving reporters is how they've become the new detectives. Do actual reporters really do that? Pore over case reports, go running around the city, "interviewing"/interrogating people? The Lady found that to be rather improbable, as well, and she's pretty swift. However, it's interesting in that these types of films are almost neo-noir-y, in that there are a lot of dark alleys, sort-of-shootouts, in-depth investigations, conspiracies, and intrigue. Are journalists the new private investigators? It's not the worst thing I can think of, but it still seems relatively unrealistic. But, then again, I'm not a reporter, so I don't really know how things work. It might be the most realistic thing, ever. Who's to say?

I was also really tired when I watched this movie, so I wasn't really paying attention to thing like mise-en-scéne, colors, sets, camera angles, editing techniques, or costumes. There may have been some carefully planned and subtle color work in play (though everything seemed vaguely gray, but who knows). In general, though, I'd say it was fairly entertaining, and it was worth the exchange of some money and some time.

I'd say it is worth checking out if you're so inclined. Russell Crowe is always good at becoming the character he plays. It bugs me about actors like Nicolas Cage and Kevin Costner, that I'm always extremely aware that they're Nicolas Cage and Kevin Costner playing a role. Rachel McAdams is adorable as usual, Ben Affleck is basically pretty blergh, and Helen Mirren is awesome. I give it three hardcore detective reporter crimefighters out of five, or three weepy congressman Ben Afflecks out of five.

Adventureland: I'm More Excited for "Zombieland"

Everyone's worked at a job they hated. Some people do that for a few years when they're teenagers, or just out of college, and some people do it for longer. Adventureland is the story of James Brennan (Jesse Eisenberg), a college graduate that's having difficulty finding a real job to get ready for graduate school. The only job he can get ends up being as a carny of sorts, working in the Games for the local summer amusement park Adventureland. There are shenanigans, that kind of boring girl from Twilight, and some people from SNL. Ryan Reynolds is there, too, but his character's kind of a jerk. It was written and directed by Greg Mottola, the director of Superbad. One thing about the guy, he knows how to write up some awkward and basically intelligent characters (with the exception of a few, but that's normal).

Also, one of the things that I can't help connecting in my mind is the upcoming film Zombieland, which also stars Jesse Eisenberg, and also has -land in the title. Part of me really hopes that Zombieland is an unofficial sequel. If I see that kid in a "Games Games Games" t-shirt in the zombie movie, I just might lose my shiz. Unfortunately, the anticipation of a totally different movie with a similar title and one shared actor. The movie isn't terrible, but it isn't fantastic. It has some good moments, some good lines, and some interesting characters, but that's pretty much it.

But wait, there's more! Well, not much more. Plot-wise, it's relatively complicated, actually. James Brennan (Eisenberg) has just graduated with his Bachelor's degree, and is now gearing up for a big summer abroad before going to grad school. Unfortunately, his parents (Jack Gilpin and Wendie Malick) are having financial difficulties, and won't be able to help him with the trip, or really for graduate school. He finds himself virtually unemployable, and ends up working in Games for Adventureland, a summer theme park in the town. There, he meets some girls, some weird guys, the cool but kind-of-a-jerk maintenance man (played by Ryan Reynolds), and eventually makes his plans for the fall, which he then departs from drastically by the end of the movie to be with Kristen Stewart's character. It has some great cameo appearances by Bill Hader and Kristen Wiig, who play the proprietors of the park, and are relatively crazy. He also gets to hang out with his childhood friend Frigo, who punches him in the nuts a lot (and is played by that kid from the phone commercials that never wants to use "old minutes," you know the one).

It's a bit more dramatic than I was anticipating based on the previews, and I didn't really hear too many opinions or see many reviews for it. Granted, I rarely seek out reviews (which seems odd, since I sort-of write reviews several times a week), but still. It was a pretty low-key release, with few actors that can really be considered top-level, but it was pretty entertaining.

Now, she isn't the most terrible thing in the world. She's ... just kind of bland, and doesn't really seem to jump into any character she's playing. Luckily, I think people tend to cast her in roles that are kind of plain and relatively boring, so she doesn't really have to work all that hard. For some reason, I felt myself noticing a lot of her mannerisms, and they're annoying as all hell. She does the same hair-fixing motion when she's distressed, or hungry, or amused, or drunk.

The film feels very much like a high-school coming-of-age story, but virtually all the characters are in their 20s, at least. Maybe because Jesse Eisenberg's character is a virgin, but still, it's an unusual sensation. Maybe it's some sort of commentary, that we never really grow out of the crappy jobs, the weird relationships, the uncertain futures, and the money troubles of youth. Even his parents are having problems, and don't seem to have their own clearly defined directions. Or maybe I'm overthinking it. It's probably just a dumb little movie about a weird job at an amusement park.

Basically, it's decent, but only if you really want to see it. I don't know if it would be worth it to spend money on. Luckily for me, the Lady's sister had rented it, and we filched it, so, score! Free movie, right? I'd say it's amusing, more dramatic than it initially seemed, and kind of made me think about how interesting and rewarding my life actually is. I'd give it two and a half punches in the nuts from that phone commercial kid out of five, or two and a half blank, soulless and empty staring eyes of Kristen Stewart out of five.

Zack and Miri Make A Porno: Um, Enough Said?

Fifteen years ago, this fat comic book nerd from New Jersey got a bunch of his friends to be in a movie that he filmed in the convenience store in which he worked. That movie was Clerks, and it was actually pretty impressive and awesome. It was well written, decently acted, considering virtually everyone on screen had never acted before, and it became a cult classic. He turned that popularity into a movie franchise based around the exploits of Jay and Silent Bob, played by his friend Jason Mewes and himself. And what does he do with that kind of clout? He makes a movie in which Seth Rogen, a chubby, hairy man, becomes the average joe's porn star. The film also stars Elizabeth Banks as Miri, Jason Mewes as a porn star, Craig Robinson as Zack's co-worker that serves as the porno's producer, and Traci Lords and Katie Morgan playing porn stars, which is a real stretch for them.

Seriously though, this movie is extremely decent. It's an interesting idea, bizarrely executed, and was fascinatingly cast. I'm of the firm belief that this entire film was imagined, produced, casted, written, shot, and acted while completely blitzed on pot. I haven't enjoyed a comedy about the porn industry this much since Trey Parker and Matt Stone came out with Orgazmo. Like my review of Inglourious Basterds, this film is a pretty big departure for Kevin Smith, in terms of principal cast, the fact that he doesn't star with Jason Mewes as Jay and Silent Bob, the location (Monroeville, PA instead of New Jersey), and that it doesn't take place in the supposed "View Askewniverse" as far as we know. Despite the new directions (except the general content/themes are pretty standard Kevin Smith fare), the film performs admirably. Get it? It's kind of a sex pun. Trust me, it's funny.

Zack and Miri have been friends since grade school. They live in an apartment together in Monroeville, Pennsylvania, and they share a car. They both work crappy jobs, though we don't actually see Miri doing hers. Zack works in a coffee shop. And all their utilities are getting shut off. They go to their 10th high school reunion, only to find that everyone's still kind of annoying, and that Miri's high school crush Bobby Long (played by Brandon Routh) is gay, and in a relationship with Brandon St. Randy (Justin Long), a gay porn star. This gives Zack a brilliant idea: to solve their money problems, they decide to make a porno, convinced that at least the several hundred members of their graduating class would want to buy it. They manage to recruit a stripper, a random guy named Lester, a bacheolor party entertainer, another random dude, and Zack's friend and goalie for their hockey team to help them make their movie. Along the way, Zack and Miri find that they may or may not have feelings for one another, which makes filming this bizarre, half-formed and insane porn movie exceedingly complicated. And there's a lot of weird sex, a lot of crazy and hilarious dialogue, and a lot of wacky shenanigans.

This film is definitely not family-friendly. There are almost 300 f-bombs dropped during the course of the film, plenty of simulated sex, naked butts, naked breasts, and ... well, all I can say is I feel bad for Jeff Anderson's character. He's the cinematographer, and he has to get pretty close and personal with shooting some of the scenes. It's refreshing to see Jason Mewes as a character other than the foul-mouthed drug dealing Jay character, and he's surprisingly good in his role as Lester. After so many Judd Apatow films, it's also nice to see Seth Rogen in a film with a little bit of a different flavor. It does share a lot of similarities with the typical Apatow fare, though, but to be honest, Kevin Smith has been doing it longer. I think. Yeah, that's probably right.

It's immensely hilarious, raunchy, and strange. The dialogue is pretty classic Kevin Smith, too. What Quentin Tarantino can do with his bizarre crime stories, Kevin Smith can do with wacky romantic raunchy comedies. The characters are interesting and engaging, and are relatively round, surprisingly. Even some of the secondary characters are like that. Craig Robinson's character grows quite a bit throughout the film, and both Zack and Miri make some real progress in their personal lives.

I give the film three and a half awkward and tender porn-star love scenes out of five, or three and a half "please don't say shit covered" scenes out of five. You'll get it when you watch it.